Lyssa (2009)One of the biggest mother-daughter struggles that Alyssa and I have encountered so far, happened approximately when Alyssa was between the ages of 3 and 8 (age 8 because somewhere around that age, I finally gave up). Looking back, I think that we both had strong-willed sides. Often we would both loose in the argument, each of us disheartened by our interactions together. What were our wars over you ask? Hair. Yes, I hate to admit it, we fought over her hair.
If I wanted it curled, she wanted it straight.
If I planned ponytails, she demanded a pigtail.
If I wished for ribbons, she wanted barretts.
We always faced a difference of opinion.
The most memorable hair-moment, wasn’t too big of a battle face-to-face, but there was a definite winner and loser. The day is firm in my memory because it was the day of the children’s Christmas program at our church, and I was helping direct the big affair. It’s every mother’s dream, to see her baby girl shine on stage, looking as darling as can be! So, the night before the big day, I had put sponge rollers in Alyssa’s hair, to make her naturally straight hair full of cute curls. Well, they must have not been so cute to Alyssa.
As I spent the afternoon at the church, making the final preparations for the Christmas program, Ken helped by staying home to watch the kids, keeping them out of my hair. Next thing I know, my dear hubby is coming to visit me at the church, with a look on his face like something was very wrong. He had to break the news that while he was watching the football game, Alyssa decided she didn’t want the curls in her hair anymore, and proceeded to dunk her hair in the bathroom sink. The cute curls were gone. Alyssa had won.
In all seriousness, I look back and think some of our arguments over hair were silly. It’s just hair. I would hope that if I were to do those years all over again, I would be less intense at making sure Alyssa’s hair was what I wanted it to be…especially on Sunday mornings. Alyssa’s hair wasn’t what made her beautiful, it was her heart.
Now that Alyssa is a teenager, she is in charge of her own hair, and we don’t fight over how it’s fixed. Whew. I hope that as she continues to grow that she remains opinionated about what she finds beautiful for herself, and that she stands confident in the beauty that emanates from her heart. I’m not sure she knows how to respond when I compliment her, and I also know that we all have things we don’t like about ourselves. I pray that wherever she has doubts, or a low opinion of herself, that it is replaced with a confidence in who God has created her, and that she believes in her heart that she IS beautiful.
Christ lives inside her. What could be more beautiful?
Dear Precious Father, thank you for my daughter, and for the beautiful girl you have made her. Inside, and out, she shines of her Creator. She is fearfully and wonderfully made. Not only is she beautiful on the outside, but I see beauty emanating from who she is. Her laughter makes her face radiate. Her creative flair brings out a confidence in who you’ve made her. She’s loyal to her friends, a delight to little ones, and brings joy to her family. Everything about my daughter shines a beauty. I pray, Lord, that she believes in her heart that she is beautiful, and that she accepts the way you have created her, even in the areas she feels inadequate. Lord, I pray she never doubts her natural beauty, but also rests in the fact that it’s what is on the inside that is most beautiful. She will be most beautiful when you are living in her heart.
1 comment:
I often think of the battles I have with the kids AFTER they are over and wonder why I "had to put my foot down" and something so non-eternal. That's my goal of how to monitor issues - "is this eternal?" or "in a year (or five) will this matter? Glad to know I'm not the only one and yes, your daughter is beautiful inside AND out!
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